Each day we are given a new opportunity. Did you fail yesterday? Today you can succeed! Did you feed your body junk yesterday? Today you can empower yourself with good nutrition! Were you impatient yesterday? Today you can be patient! Were you unkind yesterday? Today you can show compassion, empathy, love, acceptance. Yesterday is now only a tool to show you how today is full of possibility that you may have forgotten or been reluctant to pursue. Today we can begin!
Before my feet hit the floor I made sure to take a few moments spent in gratitude. I am grateful for so much that I forget to even give pause to recognize. What a refreshing way to begin the day.
And as I ate my breakfast, I pulled a card... HEALING! How amazing... How perfect. I am in the midst of a healing season. Not only am I healing from physical sickness, but also emotional and mental. I am in a whole body metamorphosis. I am a chrysalis.
An excerpt from the commentary on Healing:
"It is a time when the deeply buried wounds of the past are coming to the surface, ready and available to be healed. The figure in this card is naked, vulnerable, open to the loving touch of existence. The aura around his body is full of light, and the quality of relaxation, caring and love that surrounds him is dissolving his struggle and suffering.
Be aware of your wound. Don't help it to grow, let it be healed; and it will be healed only when you move to the roots. The less the head, the more the wound will heal; with no head there is no wound. Live a headless life. Move as a total being, and accept things. Just for twenty-four hours, try it-- total acceptance, whatsoever happens."
So in this new day, I am whole. To be completely candid for a moment, I want to reveal that I have recently battled a bout of postpartum depression. My first instinct was to medicate. I did not trust my power and ability to overcome this challenge on my own. In the past week or so something changed in me, however. I suddenly realized I can trust myself. I stopped taking my prescribed anti-depressant. It is amazing how much better I feel. To be perfectly clear, I am not advocating or dismissing the need for medication. This is MY personal journey. I simply feel the need to share my experience as a way to document and journal. It just so happens I don't mind doing it in a public forum for the small chance my words resonate with just one... or many. :)
I will accept this day whatsoever happens. I will not bury my hurt or deny past wounds. Instead I choose to be open to love, caring and allow healing. I am letting go...
Postpartum depression is a real and debilitating condition and I’m amazed that you can find the mental strength to deal with it! That is a feat of which you should be very proud.
ReplyDeleteNow pleasantries aside, I happen to think junk food and impatience are not things to be casually tossed aside; to be replaced for what, broccoli and patiently accepting the rampant incompetence of others? I’m not convinced. Keep in mind a great and powerful moral teacher once said, "A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness" and this truth may not exist in your new day that doesn’t leave room for embracing the life changing aspects of the mother fucking dark side.
Thank you for your comment. Sometimes I think we are all more powerful than we even know. As I mentioned, what works for me may not be right for others. Everyone must live their own truth.
ReplyDeleteAs to your remark about my inability to embrace the dark side, I simply do not choose to embrace that which does not progress me in the direction I want to go. I choose compassion, empathy, forgiveness and grace over judgement, anger, impatience and intolerance. The quote you chose does not resonate with me. I have found the opposite to be true. I would much rather be lonely for a night if it means I have chosen to live in integrity. The lasting satisfaction in that is far better than any fleeting filling of a mere void. And finally, being patient does not equate to acceptance of incompetence. You can show grace when others disappoint you or fail or lack knowledge or know-how... once you can show yourself this grace it is much more available for others. These are truths for me.
Thanks for your comment. I didnt mean in anyway to project that my comment should be taken as a rejection of compassion, empathy, forgiveness and in it's stead embrace judgement, anger, impatience and intolerance. I simply meant to point out that when its' time to take a whip to the retail establishements that have set up in your house (John 2:14-16), you shouldnt be shy. In fact, you should make your own whip.
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