Sunday, January 30, 2011

To my Megan... my beautiful first born...

i love you.
with your first cry my heart exploded
and became infinite in size to stretch to a capacity
large enough
to hold you

you are light
you are possibilities
endless

you are my breath
and my hope
i realize my
limits
when I watch you
and see the limitless in you

your dreams are big
your words are true
your life is
my greatest achievement

Monday, January 17, 2011

Philosphy, Religion, egoism…




Humans are amazing and complicated and intelligently designed with some serious room for user error.  It seems we are all critics and feel quite justified in our criticism of others because we are masters of manipulation --especially in creating justifications. It is convenient to have a Bible with so much left to interpretation… we all suddenly are at peace with our sweeping creative license.
I am typically unimpressed with anyone who uses the Bible to back up his or her argument of how another should live. We all know how to pick cherries.  That’s not to say I think the Bible shouldn’t be revered or that I don’t believe in its power… I do.  But I believe it is intended for personal use. Make it your rulebook and use it purposefully in how you are living your life.
I am skeptical of people, their motives and their agendas. This has nothing to do with God. Humans are fallible even in their pursuit of God, their use of religion and their treatment of their brothers and sisters in Christ. We all think we know how others should live. If you were suddenly put in charge of another’s life today, do you honestly think you could live it better? You couldn’t because we can only be ourselves. We are all intricately pieced to be unique.
In his essay on ethical egoism, I believe James Rachels explains it best:

                                  "Each of us is intimately familiar with our own individual wants and needs. Moreover, each of us is uniquely placed to pursue those wants and needs effectively. At the same time, we know the desires and needs of others only imperfectly, and we are not well situated to pursue them. Therefore, it is reasonable to believe that if we set out to be 'our brother's keeper,' we would often bungle the job and end up doing more mischief than good."
                                  To pursue actively the interests of others is to be officious. We should mind our own business and allow others to mind theirs.
                                  To give charity to someone is to degrade him, implying as it does that he is reliant on such munificence and quite unable to look out for himself. "That," reckons Rachels, "is why the recipients of 'charity' are so often resentful rather than appreciative.”

At any given moment I am thinking about much. I’m thinking about my children. I’m thinking about food. I’m thinking about my loved ones, my friends, people I miss. I’m thinking about favorite moments. I’m thinking of comfort and discomfort. I’m thinking of ideas and plans to better myself and my life.

 I am not thinking of how I could live your life better or what you should do to live your life better according to me or any chosen philosophy, religion or flight of whimsy I am currently subscribing to for my own life. If I were, there is much I should/could attend to that would be left neglected.



Monday, January 10, 2011

Spider




Rocking to the center where
Life met life
And the middle became the edge

Flying the smooth ride
Rising closer to the crest
Falling without gravity

Your eyes are cooing
A slow hum
A low tune
Inaudible chants
Inexplicable rants

try.try.try.try.try.try.try.try.try.

I have proposed war. I have won already.
Your flag is flying above your head with eyes that won’t look up.
Choked by words you never owned or earned.
Your voice leaves sick trails of lingering ash.

And I am deaf to that sound and lost on that path.
Sad attempts at reality is all you know. Hiding behind the ugly made beautiful by verse and venom sweetened by valor.
Reaching through and twisting a grip on a small shivering soul.

Screaming so silently…