"Beginnings are always messy." – John Galsworthy
Going from words floating
around in my head to putting them out in the world is the greatest distance I
can travel at times. In between the two points, I have to wander over a lot of
rocky terrain fraught with stubbornness, fear, and self-doubt. I frequently get
stuck in this familiar, stagnant, never beginning, frustrating and quite sucky
mode because I am
w a i t i n g…
Waiting for inspiration, for the sun to rise
or set, for the babies to nap, for my food to digest, for the perfect time on
the perfect day with the perfect light in the perfect chair, in the perfect
space, in the most perfect moment.
"So many fail because they don't get started- they don't go. They don't overcome inertia. They don't begin." -- W. Clement Stone
It is all total crap. All of
these self-imposed requirements are put in place to roadblock my way to
beginning-- to actually starting and putting momentum behind my dreams and
aspirations. And I am completely responsible for putting all of these
ridiculous contingencies on the doing, favoring just hanging out with the thinking.
I am getting in my own way and it is all because beginning is the one thing
that separates the known from the unknown.
"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." -- T.S. Elliot
Beginning does not require
anything other than starting. It doesn’t require the perfect anything… no
moment is going to rise up and push me into action. I don’t have to have just
the right space, or time, or feeling. I just have to end staying in the
familiar and begin roaming around in the unfamiliar.
"Who has begun has half done. Have the courage to be wise. Begin!" –HORACE, Epistles
I must get comfortable
feeling the edge and tiptoeing over it. I hope to, at some point, always meet
that edge with my head thrown back in sheer delight and a flying leap.
"A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are correct." - Frank Herbert, Dune
Writing is not just talent .
. . It is practice and experience-- habit actually. I must create the habit of
ALWAYS dumping my brain out. I constantly have words and thoughts, ideas and
stories, camping out in my grey matter like squatters. Eviction notices must be
given. These words do not hang out forever; they evaporate faster than I can
even put pen to paper at times. When I act on it or even force it instead of
waiting to be inspired, I realize quickly that the words do come. They are
already there full and meaty waiting to be plucked and placed. These words form
and take shape, exploding before me in a way that surprises me every single
time I simply begin.
